Dear Abby: ‘Bestie’ bristles when I say I’m sick

Dear Abby I ve known Bianca since high school She s my neighbor and godmother to my son I consider her a sister and we tour and spend holidays together Our families get along well A month ago my body started aching all over I have been feeling sick and my medical practitioner is trying to figure out what s wrong with me One day Bianca and I ran into each other and I narrated her I was feeling really sick She replied Stop saying that Sick sick sick No Better to say that you are in pain but not sick It was an order Abby Bianca s comment took me aback I reported her I can t complain to my loved ones all the time and I thought I could share with her She communicated me she gets worried every time I do it I complained to her only a couple of times in a three-week period I m so sad Bianca is my best friend We talk on the phone but not as often as we used to I know she realized right now that she had hurt me but she didn t apologize Every time I think about it I get an empty feeling in my stomach I m not holding a grudge but now I m more careful about what I say When she asks about my strength I change the subject What are your thoughts on this Censored in Ecuador Dear Censored I am trying to decide if your friend Bianca may be so empathetic that when you mention your physical pain she experiences it too or whether she s just plain insensitive Whatever the cause of her inability to listen to you discuss your manifestations if you want this friendship to last you are going to have to accept that she isn t up to the challenge and find another outlet Consider asking your physician for a referral to a healthcare provider who specializes in chronic pain Dear Abby I have been at the same job for -plus years and have accrued a lot of vacation days I don t often take a week or two at a time I ll take a day off here and there My neighbors can t get their heads around this and ask me repeatedly Don t you work every day Do you have Fridays off Why aren t you at work It frosts me because they re implying I m doing something wrong and think my schedule and life are their business The bulk of the old-timers have left the complex since I moved in but a sparse busybodies remain They appear to suffer from group think and have a tendency to interfere One management company dropped us because they interfered so much It goes right over their heads that they might be bothering folks with questions like this I m now using the fire stairs and taking different routes to avoid encountering chosen of them Any advice Third Degree in Minnesota Dear Third Degree Could various of those old-timers suffer from cognitive impairment which is why they persist in asking these questions If you are not interested in answering any question you regard as intrusive change the subject ignore the question and keep walking Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA